Wednesday, January 18, 2017

She spoke in tongues - both said no!

Glossolalia, or speaking in tongues is,  “ the fluid vocalising of speech-like syllables that lack any readily comprehended meaning.” Welcome to the House of Commons.

Wednesday is, as regular readers know, the day representatives of all parts of the UK meet for half an hour before lunch to discuss the state of the nation.

Otherwise known as Prime Ministers Questions, it’s the weekly opportunity for Theresa May not to tell MPs what she has been to.
It is also the chance not to tell them what she plans to be up to. 

She had been spotted yesterday giving some foreign Johnnies a few clues, but today, in front of her own, she stuck to the rules.

PMQs is also the opportunity for the Leader of the opposition to hold the aforementioned to account.
But today Jeremy Corbyn stuck to his rules - and didn’t.

It is only a week since his advisors told him to be more like Donald Trump to get his message out. He’s been confused since.

Equally confused has been Labour’s position on the hot topic of the next two to ten years - Brexit.
Ever since Theresa May declared ‘Brexit means Brexit’, Jeremy has been asking what Brexit means.

He was at it again today and so was Mrs M. He asked, she didn’t answer.

Having been named the new Margaret Thatcher by no less than the Daily Mail this morning, the PM was full of herself.
She emerged to rousing cheers but it was hard to work out if that because of her enablement or the end of Scottish Questions.

This is the monthly half hour before PMQs when home counties MPs gather to learn the language of the hoi polloi - or how they speak north of the border.
The fear on the face of the Scottish Secretary answering to the cohorts of the SNP reminded all to always check if they are being asked for a fight or a drink.

As Mrs M eased her way through PMQs her cabinet dutifully  checked on each others shoes.
Chancellor Hammond had brought his his new inscrutability mask  to try on.
Amber Rudd looked like she was taking mental notes of those to be punished for making her Home Secretary.

But Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt was clear winner in the ‘ most terrified’ section. Would anyone mention the £15m quid he had just trousered from selling off his education listing company whilst leader of the cash-strapped NHS - sadly not today.

As ever, when it comes to Europe, It was veteran Tory MP Ken Clarke who put the well-shaped brogue in.
Ken, who had come in what appeared to be a loosely fitted sofa cover in grey, asked Mrs M if MPs would get a vote on the final deal.

The Prime Minister replied in tongues - both said no.