Wednesday, December 14, 2016

Mrs Darth Vader and the megatick - Must be PMQs.

Earlier there had been some shouting about the situation in Syria and disquiet over the funding gap in social care.
But that was as nothing when the longest Prime Ministers Questions in history made MP’s late for another Christmas lunch.

Political differences were put apart as all sides groaned their way to the 46th minute of holding the PM to account.
Maybe because it was the last PMQs of the year, or Speaker Bercow hadn’t any invites, but one o’ clock loomed before they could get away.

It had already been a day for political twitchers when the lesser-spotted Leader of Her Majesty’s Official Opposition was  actually spotted.
Jeremy has gone to ground in recent weeks, weighed down by his popularity outside the Corbynistas.

But the cry ‘megatick’ - twitcher code for a rarely seen bird - went up amongst the anorak’s at noon yesterday.
Having taken last week off when Theresa May was selling stuff to the sheiks, he was  a man refreshed.

Breaking with tradition, he stuck to the same subject and actually got up Theresa May’s nose.
The Government haven’t a leg to stand on when it comes to the crisis in social care funding for the elderly.

Normally Jeremy would start well and fade away when let loose on the PM.
But he has obviously been spending his time on retreat learning his lines.
Theresa May, ready to brush him off as usual, was set back on her heels as the-new-and-improved Jeremy stood up.

Having mouthed the usual platitudes to no avail, the PM retreated to the dark side.
Out popped Mrs Darth Vader, spraying death stares across the aisle.

 But unbowed - although slightly unnerved by support from his own benches - Jeremy got shoutier as she got angrier.

Down the Government front bench, Ministers quickly found shoe-staring a safe occupation.
Behind them a Mexican wave towards the exit as Tory MP’s felt the backwash of Mrs Darth’s unhappiness.

And who else should be found cowering near the door than Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt, another his many lives on the line.
.
Labour meantime looked startled at their leader’s performance none more so that deputy Tom Watson and chief whip Nick Brown.
Both are such men of substance that, were they both to stand up at once, Jeremy would be catapulted back from whence he came.

Speaker Bercow hasn’t really been himself since David Cameron - the mote in his eye - quit.
There was nothing quite like winding up the posh boy before heading off for his speaker sandwiches.

But short of targets and with MP’s increasingly revolting he decided to fall back on the tried and trusted.
  He threw them Tigger - aka Lib Dem leader Tim Farron - and Tim, god bless him, duly obliged.