Wednesday, October 26, 2016

Theresa's doctorate in dodging.

The trouble with jokes at Prime Ministers Questions is that they tend to be sitting opposite you.

Thus the introduction of Baldrick into proceedings today could only cause further confusion.
It had all begun as indifferently as usual, with MPs on all sides looking forward to half an hour catching up on emails and texts.

Mrs M had wandered in earlier but with all chauffeur-driven cabinet jobs gone for the moment her welcome was muted.
So indeed was the reception for Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn, but ‘muted’ ranks alongside ‘ fantastic compared to the previous 12 months.

With the main performers in place attention drifted to those promoted as standard bearers to the chiefs for the half hour of hopeful humiliation that was to follow.
The PM had chosen the Chancellor as the man least likely to outshine her and he dutifully obliged.

Jeremy, faced with a much better selection, continued with his normal habit of sitting in the shadow of his deputy Tom Watson.
But just in case of a charisma crisis he had also booked a nice man with a nice  beard for his free side.

However, ongoing problems over shadow cabinet appointments means that sometimes people may not be who you think.
Was he a shadow minister or somebody wanting a short back and  sides who had sat down in the wrong place.

To be fair he did not appear to be upsetting anyone and anyway Jeremy ignored him throughout.
Equally ignored opposite was the blond bouffant who officially maintains our relationships abroad.

Mrs M always summons Boris to the chamber to remind MPs of her sense of humour. He was there again today, apparently to remind cabinet colleagues it was time to have their roots done.

Being PMQs, as usual there was a killer subject that Jeremy ‘just had to go on’  to grind down the PM.
As usual Jeremy ignored it and instead quoted Baldrick:” Our cunning plan is to have no plan”, he said.

To be fair he accused the PM of having no plan, but then stuck to it himself.
Encouraged by such grilling Mrs M is now an academic short course in how not to answer questions.

So good has she become that consideration is now being given to a doctorate in dodging.
The House of Commons could then institute an extra half hour of PMQs to allow even more MPs to be ignored.