Wednesday, September 07, 2016

Jeremy 2 - The sequel

It was UB40 who summed it all up as they pledged their support to Jeremy Corbyn yesterday: “To be honest, we do everything arse-backwards.”
Actually, to be really honest, it should have been UB20 since, like the Labour Party, they too are split asunder.

But you takes your support where you can get it especially if it sums up your approach to politics.
And speaking of arse-backwards,it was back to the future today with the return of Prime Ministers Questions - and Jeremy.

Gone the heady days of summer being cheered from one end of Momentum to the other.
Instead the silence of popularity amongst his own MPs.

Dianne Abbott, unpopular in her own right, had been sent in to the chamber to guard his right flank.
But on his left Tom Watson, in early to book the two seats his position and posterior demands.

Still masquerading as Jeremy’s deputy, the immovable object had clamped  himself to the bench.
Had Jeremy leant any further away Dianne could have had him for assault - if not lunch.

Those wishing to make this an audio-visual event may care to hum the theme from The Great Escape from this point.

But there was no escape yet because Theresa May, back from becoming a world leader, was determined to get her two-pennorth.
Welcomed with all the warmth the hander-out of paying Government posts can expect she was eager to  show herself off.

Sycophants cheered, the nearly-new Chancellor checked ‘smiling’ on google could not find it and chose to look like Philip Hammond.
Down the front bench arms appeared from behind a fringe and the Foreign Secretary emerged to prove the Prime  Minister did have a sense of humour.

Over the aisle Labour MPs looked surprised to find themselves at work. Supreme indifference pills had been handed out and some members appeared to have overdosed.

Jeremy rose to speak, Tories hooted and hollered per instruction and the opposition looked annoyed at the interruption.
Jeremy asked about housing. Dianne squeezed his elbow. His MPs ignored him.

Taking their lead, Mrs M followed suit. She ignored him as well.
Her backroom boys had come up with some wannabe clever quips so she proceeded to crowbar them into the gaps between the questions.

Jeremy looked frustrated. Mrs M looked delighted.

Up in the cheap seats on the Tory side the man who was once tipped for her job smiled wanly.
Chancellor George, as once was, is now just an ordinary millionaire on the Government  back benches.

Across the great divide Tom Watson looked as if flatulence had taken its toll.
Jeremy finally subsided.

In two weeks time he will become Leader of the Labour Party for the second time. 

Arse-backwards?