Wednesday, July 06, 2016

With you whatever.


Just when you thought it could not get any weirder, it did; Tony Blair rode to the rescue of Jeremy Corbyn.

Six words in a billet doux to George W. Bush was all that it took:
“I will be with you whatever”, said Tony, providing an instant slogan for the embattled Labour leader.

You could tell today was going be different when Jeremy turned up to Prime Ministers Questions with what suspiciously looked like a smile on his face.
It was then that you realised he had come hot-footed from an early look at the Chilcot report.

If there is one thing more important to Jeremy than continuing his sit-in as Labour leader it’s naming Tony as a war criminal over Iraq.
In his wildest dreams he never thought that chance would come as he occupied what was once Blair’s seat.

But come it would as soon as PMQ’s were out of the way.

In the best British traditions sitting next to him, his deputy Tom Watson who has spent the last week trying to get rid of him.
The two men managed to find different spots in the universe to stare at. 

Jeremy found time to chat to one of the total strangers he’s been forced to appoint to his shadow cabinet.
So short is he of friends that Scottish Questions, proceeding PMQs had been staffed by new shadow Secretary of State Dave Anderson.

Dave is also shadow sec for Northern Ireland and MP for Blaydon with a Geordie accent strong enough to suggest Tyneside is another country.

Prime Minister Cameron took time out from studying holiday brochures to compliment Jeremy on his job-creation scheme.
But even that was not enough to dampen the pleasure of the Labour leader knowing what was to come.

In happier times the PM could float in and out of the Commons on waves of adulation from ambitious back benchers.
But with his days numbered he was happily ignored as attention switched to the new dispenser of patronage.

Home Secretary Theresa May, hot tip to replace him, had booked her own vacant space to stare into.
Stuck between George - will I still have a job - Osborne and Philip
- do you know who I am - Hammond, she gave nothing away.

Heavy lidded eyes might have suggested a night on the tiles, last night if such an event had not been impossible.
Indeed even the suggestion of such frippery might end up being an offence under the regime to come.

As the PM rattled off promises made and promises kept, Theresa - knowing they might be hers by next week - moved not a muscle.
Down the front bench other cabinet members stared about wistfully as they marked what could be their last outing before the dreaded reshuffle.

On the Labour side Jeremy’s twofers just stared about.

Dave - the PM - got angry for old times sake and speaker Bercow 
added to the nostalgia by calling Denis Skinner. 
But finally, after waiting for 13 years, it was time for Tony and time for Jeremy. 

It was an excellent speech.

“I will be with you whatever, “ said the ex-Labour leader.
“Me too”, said the present one.