Wednesday, April 13, 2016

Angus Robertson - making the mundane menacing.

It was when Dave slipped into the face he had borrowed from the smug shop that you realised the crisis was officially over.

There had been doubts following reports that Chancellor George had fled the country.
But once he was located “on official business” in Washington, nerves calmed.

Not the Dave showed any signs of having any when he turned up for Prime Ministers Questions.

It had been billed as the finale to his ‘worst week ever’ following the fiasco over the Panama papers.
But no-one at Number 10 had told him and the usual Dave - slick with self-confidence - arrived instead.

For a man who only on Monday was apparently counting the hours to his departure, he looked like someone straight from the sun bed.
And if final confirmation were needed that it was business as usual, there it was in front - and slightly to the right - of him.

Yes, Dennis Skinner, deliverer of insults, was back from his half day holiday for calling Dave ‘dodgy’.
Neither bloody nor unbowed, the Beast was clearly ready to strike again - but everyone knew he wouldn’t be un-tethered for months.

And so it was a jaunty gentleman Dave who poised on his handmade brogues to meet all comers.

Jeremy Corbyn has not had the happiest time at PMQs since the leader’s mantle was unloaded on him.
But even he knows that if you throw the word tax into the benches opposite then dozens of Tory MPs will be hurt in the scramble for survival.

Dave might be off the hook since coming clean about his own finances but behind him sit hundreds who have no intention of following suit.
Jeremy pressed the tax button and even Dave’s composure slipped sightly. 

He got in a delayed crack about Jeremy’s £100 fine for late delivery of his returns.
But the Labour leader came back with a scorcher telling Dave he actually paid more income tax: “than some companies he might know well”.

As the PM tried swallow this one a new game called shuffling and shifting broke out on the Government back benches.
A smile, or at least a wintry version of one, broke out on the sphinx that is otherwise known as Tom Watson.

The fun spread north of the border, or at least north of Dave, to the serried ranks of the SNP.
Fun is not a word to be casually associated with their leader-in-London Angus Robertson.

Indeed one gets the impression that were fun to sneak into his house the procurator fiscal would be called.
But there was at least a hint of enjoyment as he too sprinkled the benches opposite with highland renditions of the word tax.

Mr Roberston has that wonderful Scottish gift of making even the mundane sound menacing.
And he was dutifully rewarded with looks of horror as Tory MPs sought further translation.

Finally one of them was called; He asked about asparagus.

Normal service was resumed.