Wednesday, December 16, 2015

Tidings of Corbyn and Great Joy.

There are times when the Prime Minister of Great Britain and Northern Ireland looks as if he spent the night with his face in the trouser press - this was one of them.

Not that Dave didn’t try his best to put a festive face on the last Prime Ministers Questions before Christmas’
But bah humbug had the better of him when none other than the santa of socialism, Jeremy Corbyn, wished him all the best.

There had been times recently when good odds could’ve been got on Labour’s new leader being ex before the holidays.
But there he was, wreathed in good cheer, issuing Christmas greetings to all and sundry.

He even included astronaut Tim Peake, “not on the planet at this time” to the merriment of all who believe this is where Jeremy normally hangs out.

Not that everything has gone his way as the seating plan on his front bench showed.
With senior members of his team in almost-but-not-quite open revolt, 
the opportunity to be up close and personal with the Leader is being resisted.

Thus the appearance today by his side of arch-loyalist, shadow Development Minister Diane Abbott.
Diane had clearly been booked to present the counter balance to Jeremy’s newly-found good humour and did so with skill.

Only the shortage of knitting needles robbed reminders of her previous employment as a tricoteuse.
But even her scowls could not dampen Jeremy’s outburst of Christmas cheer or was it relief.

Not content with smiling however, he then added insult to injury by asking the PM questions about facts involving the National Health Service.
As regular readers know, Dave Doesn’t Do Details and looked mightily miffed that his opponent had forgotten.

With his Christmas holidays just 15 minutes away and yet more weeks as Labour leader, Jeremy sat down satisfied.
Ms Abbott mimed Madame Mao in his honour.

There was a time when this would have been the end of the worst of it for Dave - unless an unforgiving Speaker called Denis Skinner.
But the last general election has meant the promotion of the SNP into that position, once occupied by the Lib Dems, known as Opposition-1.

This gives them the right to two official bites at the cherry otherwise known as the backside of David Cameron.
Even as the Prime Minister was trying to re-shape his face end into something resembling a smile, Speaker Bercow, called them up.

Now if there’s one thing guaranteed to wind Dave up tighter than a stop watch then it’s anything with SNP in its initials.
Step forward then Angus Robertson, leader of the SNP in Parliament and with the scottish knack of making any sentence sound like an invitation outside.

He’d chosen with relish Dave’s open sore, Europe, to quiz him on just in case the PM was not wound up enough - which he happily was.
With the answers as irrelevant as the questions, snarls were exchanged, SNP MPs hurled abuse, Tories responded and Dave, finally drained of good cheer, sat down.

Somebody mentioned flood victims in Cumbria but the time was up.