Wednesday, December 09, 2015

Labour and laughs in the same sentence.

And it came to pass that David had gone to Romania and Jeremy had gone to his allotment and laughter was heard again in the land - or at least on the Labour benches.

Step forward Angela Eagle, until 12.06 known just as Shadow Business Secretary, but by 12.15 on Ladbrokes list to be the next Leader of the Labour Party.

It was meant to be Chancellor George’s day, Prime-Minister-in-waiting getting his hand in at PMQs.
But with Dave abroad, Jeremy had also seized the chance to slope off and nominated Angela as his stand-in.

JC’s reign as Labour leader has turned PMQs into a dull affair, popular with the public but viewed with increasing gloom by members of the people’s party.
So it was obvious from the off that his absence alone had cheered them up and Angela’s appearance was an added bonus.

George had arrived early for his performance and the Tory benches were packed with those keen to keep favour with the man in charge of handing the jobs out.
Labour’s continual turmoil has made PMQs an entertainment and it was clear more pre-prandial fun was expected.

But as Angela got to her feet, the rare sound of loud cheering from the Labour benches could be heard.
The party’s deputy leader, Tom Watson, cracked his first front bench smile since being elected and George blanched - or he would have done if he had not arrived that way. 

Angela, Yorkshire- born and Oxford-educated proceeded to demonstrate she had taken a first in wit, repartee and timing.
She had her lot rolling in the aisles and George just rolling as she fixed the smile back on Labour’s face.

The PM was on a “seemingly endless” tour of Europe trying to get his better deal, “no wonder he needs his own plane,”she said.
George blustered, Angela parried, Labour cheered and George blustered again.

On the Government benches Environment Secretary Elisabeth Truss, seemed not to know where to look.
She stared up and down as George’s back loomed before her. Did he really have eyes in the back of his head?

Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt, certain George’s eyes are everywhere, stared at the floor, Foreign Secretary Philip Hammond, stared abroad.

But Angela was not finished as she asked he-who-would-be-king, or at least PM, whether he was worried about someone else on his front bench. 
As George momentarily looked puzzled, she fixed her eyes on Home Secretary Theresa May.

Now Theresa had spent the whole of PMQs so far displaying total indifference to the performance of her competitor-in-chief for the top job.
But she would have blushed, if she could remember how to, when Angela managed to drag her in without mentioning her name.

Theresa squirmed, George squirmed, Labour MPs laughed and laughed and laughed.
Diane Abbott looked appalled. Tom Watson looked happy.

And then Angela even mentioned Tony Blair and Labour MPs cheered. 

Ladbrokes are offering 20-1 on her being the next Labour leader.
They once were offering 100-1 on Jeremy Corbyn getting the job.