Wednesday, October 28, 2015

#pmqsketch Omni-shambles back on the menu.

"Effective" was a word that was never expected to smuggle its way into the same sentence as the name "Jeremy Corbyn". But today it did.

No-one was perhaps more surprised than him apart from David Cameron, the Labour Party, and everybody else in the country not already at lunch.

But there it was, right in front of you, Effective Jeremy, as he will now known - or until this time next week.

The fact it took the House of Lords to produce this unexpected event will be quietly expunged from history when this event is recorded for future generations of Corbynisters.

But, there were already signs that a special day - or at least a special 30 minutes were ahead even before Jeremy set out to stun the world. 

Corals had been set up on the Tory backbenchers to accommodate herds of donkeys invited down from Blackpool's beaches for the occasion. 

Usually there are enough in the Chamber to provide the necessary support for Dave. 
But special days need special measures and there is nothing more special that a Government climb-down.

There had been a clue earlier when a the wraith-like figure of Chancellor George slipped silently into the Chamber - or would have slipped silently if Labour MPs had not borrowed a few donkeys from the other side to welcome him.

But it was clearly Jeremy’s day when some on his own side even cheered
when he rose to speak.

Would the Prime Minister, he asked, promise Britain’s poorest they would not be worse off following the tax credits fiasco.
The thought of promising Britain’s poorest anything brought a sudden silence to Tory backbenchers but braying resumed as soon as Dave rose to reply.

Resplendent in a suit, whose cost alone would solve the tax credit problems of half a dozen families, the Prime Minister ignored the question.
Down the Government front benches Ministers had clearly popped into matron to have their mouths sewn shut

Jeremy asked him again and Dave ignored him again.The brayers tried to put him off and he fixed them with his Darth Vader death stare.
Chancellor George made a mental note to find out where he could get one.

Just as the RSPCA was about to be called, Jeremy’s time was up.
With omni-shambles back on the menu it was clearly time for lunch.