Wednesday, June 24, 2015

#pmqsketch The boys in bleu.

It may never be known if it was reports of voters in the vicinity led to the Speaker to call for a period of calm this morning.

All had been going as abnormal in a House of Commons where many chickens remain headless.

Reports were coming in that the boys in bleu were fighting on to stop Johnny Foreigner getting through the tunnel to our benefits.

Dave  had popped in to Prime Ministers Questions on his way to Germany for dinner with Angela Merkel to wish them well.

In the chamber itself Chancellor George sat sulking having hoped for another go after in last week. But Labour had also benched Hilary Benn and present stand-in leader Harriet Harman was back being present.

Normal service had resumed with selected insults being drawn from an a la carte menu prepared for the occasion on the subject of disability benefits.

Harriet ended them out like sour sweets with increasingly anger as the Prime Minister stayed just this side of condescending. Massed choirs on both sides struck up traditional numbers with occasional solo’s of individual braying and descanted shouting,

But it was obvious that the Tories don’t get anywhere near the fun they used to when Ed M was in their sights. And leaderless Labour doesn’t know when to twist or bust at PMQs as they too sit out the long three months till the next one comes along.

In fact it looked possible that the Speaker might have to call for ‘a period of excitement’ when news started filter in of a mini-Calais only yards in old money from where the excitement was not taking place.

Out in the lobby the British forces of law and order had gathered over their own benefits confrontation. There were no lorries involved but it is hard to beat a group of people in wheelchairs attempting to ‘force’ entry to the chamber of the Commons.

As twitter brought news of the revolution into the chamber eyes swivelled to the doors. Many MPs may not have met a voter since May 10 and certainly have no intention of doing so unless by appointment.

In advance of getting back the security fencing we have lent the French, luckily the disabled were persuaded to lobby their MPs somewhere more suitable. And, in the best traditions of Parliament, TV cameras filming the protest were switched off.

Back in the chamber, the nearness of those for whom benefits make an actual difference did not seem to sharpen the debate.

If Labour wanted to spend the next five years arguing against benefit changes, they would end up with the same result in the next election, said the PM.
Yah, boo, sucks and rhyming slang to that effect was the response from the peoples party.

Then the dinner gong went and Dave slipped into his airmiles Andy jacket.