Wednesday, May 06, 2015

Ed and Boris.....the sinister story.




It is geographically difficult but alcoholically easy to ignore the election to end all elections in the pub.

On the one hand it is just 100 yards in old money from the Primrose Hill primary which once housed both Ed and Boris. 
On the other hand it is just one metre in new money from the bar.

That unevenness in distance had, until now, seemed enough to keep any discussion of the future of the country at bay.

Even the imminent threat of the Scottish hordes pouring off sleepers various into NW1 for the odd bit of pillaging
seemed to leave the regulars unmoved.

But that was until Boris, out on the hustings with friend Dave, was quizzed by a commoner - whose name was taken - over allegations that he had gone to the same Eton as the PM.

Why, asked the straw-headed wag (not to be confused with wag) did no-one inquire equally into the “sinister grip” of Primrose Hill primary. 

As this information was released into the pub through an abandoned copy of the Standard, all eyes turned towards the building at the end of the street.

Alumni, whose development had not been as exotic as Ed and Boris, preened at suggestions that more than the three r’s had been taught.

Oldies remembered how the juxtaposition of words like sinister and the identity of the leader of the Labour Party had in times past been worth the splash plus pages 2 through 7 in any copy of the Sun or the Daily Mail.

Throw in Boris, more than likely to borrow Ed’s knife - backstabbing, for the use of - if Dave falters on Friday and Sunday supplements could follow.

By half past five, the story had a real head of steam and passing lorries were being checked for crowd control barriers no longer needed for Princess Lotte.

By half past six the conversation had moved on to who had booked the table next to the TV for the Champions League semi-final, first leg.

We should not forget that Ed’s brother David also went to the primary, said an old-Primrosian, obviously forgetting that everyone else had.