Tuesday, April 14, 2015

The pub seemed the best place to contemplate...

The pub seemed the best place to contemplate the report of a six per cent lead in the polls for the Tories. Sadly, that was before Mr annoying-wearing-shorts arrived for his afternoon moan. 

Consideration therefore of the latest calamity to befall the People's Party had to be delayed. 

Mr shorts, as he will be known for short, has the added disadvantage of giving off the impression he is Australian. 

It is, unfortunately, a good impression. 

Back in the day, drinking in pubs in Australia was restricted to one hour. Known as the six o clock swill, it meant everyone could be home in time for Neighbours.  

Now happily transposed to the mother country it has led to unforeseen delays in filing this report. 

Indeed it displaced the space-time continuum in which it was being constructed. 

Putting it more succinctly, it is now Tuesday and politics have moved on. 

A colleague with suspicious tendencies has just remarked that the last time Chelsea won the league, David Cameron was elected. This is just the sort of information that constitutes a 'game-changer' in modern politics. 

People of importance in Labour circles are known to consult this column. 

Standby for the Vote Dave Get Chelsea campaign.