Wednesday, April 22, 2015

Alex Salmond and Nicola Sturgeon and Primrose Hill

The grave threat posed to Primrose Hill by Nicola Sturgeon seems to have passed the pub by so far. 

The only Scot with an indifferent hairdo here is called Ronny and is presently asleep by the bar. 

To avoid any suggestion of racial stereotyping, Ronny is also on a lead. 

It's not that Nicola's name has not been mentioned; NW1 is, after all, gateway to the North. 

Almost within the pub crawl area of this pub are the rail hubs linking the capital with its rebellious regions. In fact if Nicola and her hordes are, as Dave warns, about to make us all wear kilts, they will no doubt arrive on one of the regular invasion specials laid on at Kings Cross.

What seems to have been forgotten however, is that it will not be Miss Jean Brodie’s aunty who will be alighting at platform one. Instead first off the train will be the one even the SNP have hidden away, Alex Salmond.

Alex, if you remember, walked off into the sunset after losing the referendum.
‘Will ye no come back again’, wailed his supporters.
‘Ok then’, said Alex.
He’ll be back as MP for Gordon (Aberdeenshire not Brown) and back with a vengeance.

Regular readers may have forgotten that Alex has been amongst us before.

Back in the not-so-far-away day, Alex was a regular turn at the Palace of Varieties in Whitehall. Disliked by all and sundry (and there were some pretty poor sundries) Alex quit England to run Scotland.

Now he plans to quit Scotland to run England says the Daily Mail - or will do when it gets bored with Nicola. She, in the meantime says she is in charge of the SNP and Alex agrees with her. 

He also agrees that someone called Angus Robertson is in charge of the SNP in Westminster.

He also agrees that he said the referendum in Scotland would be the last for a generation.

All of which could be filed in the WTF folder if it wasn’t for Labour’s forgetfulness north of Carlisle. With its Scottish MPs looking able to make the journey south in a Ford Escort, happy days are here again for Alex.

Whoever loses, he wins, whoever wins, he wins.

If there is a draw, he still wins.

Let’s hope he didn’t take names last time.