Wednesday, November 26, 2014

#pmqs White Van Woman....Where art thou?

It was the sight of Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt with a red target pinned to his  chest that first raised hopes. Spotting similar markers on Dave and George didn’t help until someone pointed out it was almost Worlds Aids Day. 

Initial excitement over, the Commons settled down to what remains of parliamentary democracy between now and the general election in May. For those still not in the know, this now boils down to the economy versus the national health service.

You can trust Ed with one and not the other and you can trust Dave with the one you can’t trust Ed with or both, depending on whether you read the Daily Mail or the Sun. If you read neither, then there is still Prime Ministers Questions each Wednesday where insults can be hung drawn and quartered for the coming weeks.

To be fair, today’s was hardly what Billy Bunter would have called “a corker” but that was mainly because of the absence of some of the main protagonists. Normally it is the ever-absent Nigel Farage who gets them - usually the Tories - going with some vote-catching interruption from the Dog and Duck. But today it was lucky old Labour as its benches were swept for sightings of White Van Woman, aka Emily Thornberry.

Ed did his best to distract attention from his Islington insulter, with a series of NHS darts aimed at Dave. The onslaught clearly unnerved the Health Secretary who, to be fair, has been unnerved since he first got into the cabinet.

Mr Hunt always seems to be be searching for any nearby oxygen bottle when his stewardship of the NHS in mentioned. Today he seemed to be jammed between portlier colleagues far enough away from the entrance to the chamber to prevent a quick exit. Close enough to the Labour front bench to be sacrificed quickly and quietly if the need should arise.
The PM initially played the game redirecting the NHS missiles via the economy back to the Labour leader.

But both knew that the happy snappy taken in Rochester by the now very-ex Emily would eventually make its way to the fore. You can only guess at the pleasure Tory MPs had accusing the people’s party of snobbery. Some needed oxygen, many needed their nannies. The noise was loud enough to alert any Emily skulking in a North London fastness not to mention anyone in Rochester who had left the window open.

That just left Ed who is now making a habit of snatching defeat from the jaws of defeat.
He could only slip on a Vince Cable mask and pretend to be gargoyle.

Talking of the absent, by the way, it should be reported that the Deputy Prime Minister was again missing from his PMQs position pressed up to the PM’s right, lower, cheek. In his place, former Foreign Secretary William Hague who, to be fair, looked equally as bored as Nick.