Wednesday, November 05, 2014

#pmqs Ed and Dave...botox of the brain.

It cannot be easy to discover you are less popular than Vlad the Impaler. But, for a man who must have spent the last 48 hours with a paper bag over his head, Ed Miliband seemed remarkably relaxed.
Was this really the man who had broken Nick Clegg’s grip on the title of Britain’s least liked politician?
Or was it just another day in the madhouse for the man who thought being Leader of the Labour Party would be fun?

Ed has had his good days and his bad days and then his badder days and days worse than that.
Discovering that, apart hopefully from your mam, everybody else thinks you are a plonker is not the best start to any week.

Prime Ministers Questions luckily exists to allow any self doubts you may have to be magnified a million times for the edification of your enemies. So it was a scarecrow-like Labour leader who arrived befitting someone who seems to be shedding supporters and votes by the second.

PMQs often brings out the worst in those who would lead the nation and today was to be no exception. Ed certainly looked ready to rent out space in his suit but Dave had the sleek look of someone secretly wearing body armour.

You have to hand it to Ed - as everyone did - for turning up when lesser men, or even just those who read the papers, would have fled the country.

But there he was, out of the traps, fingers drawn and cocked even before Speaker Bercow rang the bell.

There are now certain rites of passage at PMQs and the first of these is how Ed faces the Wall of Sound. Formerly known as the baying back benchers, the Wall is the Tory answer to appeals for more grown up behaviour.

The simple plan is to unnerve Ed even before he opens his mouth, drown out his questions and cheer whenever Dave mouths word shapes. But, today Miliband junior laid his thin frame into the raging storm and mentioned one heard word - Europe.

Anything west of Dover - not to mention north, south and possibly even east - is now guaranteed to cause apoplexy for the Tories. Dave seems to have botox of the brain as he tries to square the circles, triangles and tetrahedrons that encapsulate his party’s views.
And Ed was delighted to discover that today was no exception.

It was a simple question which sank the PM, “Was he still a supporter of the EU?", asked - or rather - shouted Ed.
"I’m a man with a plan” said the PM.

With the Rochester by election two weeks away and Ukip on a roll, the plan, said Dave is a referendum in two years time.

“But do you still support Europe” asked Ed again as even the Wall went silent. 

But, the PM did not get to where he got to by falling into the trap of having firm opinions and today was not going to be the day to have one again.

If Nigel Farage was watching, downing his lunchtime livener, he must have smiled.

Back in the Commons ritual insults were exchanged to fill up the remaining time. Actually seconds could be saved if the two men merely passed around their written insults at the start of the session.

Maybe the whole of PMQs………

Then again, we would have missed Nick Clegg, now not the most unpopular etc etc.

But there’s always next week.