Thursday, September 11, 2014

Scots Wha Hae.

Afore you let us go. 


You gave us the Age of Enlightenment; We gave you the Age of Entitlement.  

You gave us Presbyterianism; 
We gave you a sense of humour. 

You gave us kilts; 
We gave you boxers. 

You gave us James Mill; 
We gave you John Prescott. 

You gave us snow. 
We didn't want it. 

You gave us Gordon Brown. 
We gave him back. 

You gave us Alex Ferguson. 
We kept him. 

You gave us Alec Douglas-Home;
We never knew why. 

You gave us whiskey; 
We gave you the Poll Tax. 

You gave us penicillin; 
We gave you Margaret Thatcher. 

You gave us shortbread; 
We gave you Trident. 

We gave you Hadrian's Wall; 
You nicked the stones. 

You gave us Bannockburn; 
We didn't like it at all. 

You gave us North Sea Oil; 
We kept it.

You gave us the Calcutta Cup; 
We kept keeping it. 

You gave us George Galloway; 
We gave you George Osborne. 

You gave us steam engines; 
We gave you British Rail. 

You gave us the telephone; 
We gave Mrs Thatcher your number. 

You gave us Andy Murray; 
We kept him as well. 

You gave us Lorraine Kelly;
We liked that a lot. 

You gave us The Loch Ness Monster; 
We gave you Mrs Thatcher again. 

You gave us Michael Gove; 
We gave you STD's. 

You gave us Sean Connery; 
We gave him a knighthood - eventually. 

You gave us Ronnie Corbett; 
We gave much thanks. 

You gave us Billy Connolly; 
for which even more thanks.

You gave us RBS; 
We gave you Fred Goodwin. 

You gave us Oor Wullie; 
We got him for Christmas. 

You gave us the Krankies; 
We told the polis. 

You gave us the Scottish language; 
We gave you subtitles. 

You have us the Royal Mile. 
We gave you the Golden one. 

You gave us David Hume; 
We gave you David Cameron. 

You said Glasgow belonged to me;
 
demurred. 

You gave us Fair Isle and Forties; 
We gave a shudder. 

You gave us deep fried Mars Bars; 
We gave you a wide berth. 

You gave us Irn Bru; 
We gave you two wide berths. 

You gave us Rabbie Burns; 
We gave you thanks. 

You didn't give us Alex Salmond; 
For which much thanks. 

You gave us haggis; 
We gave up. 

Just don't give up on us.