Wednesday, August 06, 2014

The animals came in two by two.

It is not very often that people come into the pub wearing name badges - although they could be very useful to some when leaving it. 

But it was only tea time - if you can say that in a boozer - when the badges came in last night. Attached to them was a very odd collection sporting more beards and shorts than the average population.

Primrose Hill is well known for its eccentricities. Indeed the English Folk Dance Society is quartered just down the road. A quick check established none had bells attached to their ankles and it was then an overheard comment gave the game away: “I think unicorns existed”, said one of the beards.

Seeing horses with horns is not the most fanciful suggestion to be heard in the pub. Indeed applying the mathematical equation (time-of-night) x (strength of drink) and most theories in and out of the universe have passed through its doors.

But it was before six and the collective order was for half of lager, two lemonades, six bottles of water and two packets of cheese and onion. There were women in the group, but, ‘just half a lager’, thought your unreconstructed correspondent.

The pub went silent.

“We are from the Zoo”, said the beard-in-chief.

The builders had gone quiet when the badges first arrived and then silent when the order was placed. Now they were nervous; had the newbies come with hidden nets looking for specimens.

“We are on a course,” said half a lager. Relieved “fucks” broke out all over the place.

One of the many pleasures of Primrose Hill is that it provides a home for London Zoo, which can visited by anyone with multiples of £50. There you can see many of the most endangered species in the world and visit the pub for any you may have missed. Some of the more committed regulars say they have bumped into animal escapees on their way home. 

Luckily they are re-captured overnight ready to be released again after closing time - as are the animals.