Monday, August 04, 2014

Jude Law eat your heart out...

Living in Primrose Hill means you are always adjacent to famous people. 

I used to go to the pub that Jude Law used to go to before I did.  It was so nice that Harry Enfield bought it to convert into a home for his family. 

But Harry apparently forgot to tell his builders who made it into four flats. 
Luckily for us Loadsamoney has not been sighted in this pub. 

Sadly, it can now be revealed, another Harry has. He too, has plans to convert the boozer into much-needed multi-million pound maisonettes.

A petition has now been launched to persuade him to change his mind.  If not, it is hoped one of the new maisonettees won’t mind if twenty or so of us meet in his kitchen every afternoon. Failing that, more signatures are being sought, particularly from those who can earn an inch in the Camden Journal.

They include Boris’s dad Stanley, who quaffs here occasionally. Stan’s every inch the man you would expect to have named his eldest Alexander Boris de Pfeffel. Equally straw thatched, he is also, noisily posh.

The noisy bit sits comfortably with “the builders”, as they are known, who are not posh but definitely noisy. They too are occasional regulars and are known as "the builders” because they are builders. 

Each day their cash-rich but land-poor employers head off to earn more leaving “the builders” to burrow away under Primrose Hill. Some suggest that if all the subterranean swimming pools were linked up HS2 would not need a tunnel under Camden.

By tea-time the builders have formed a picket line in front of the bar. Here they teach staff from around the world how to insert the word “fuck” into everything from sentences to sandwiches.

Like Stan they mean no harm but the volume of no harm both create is  enough to persuade passers-by to keep doing just that.

The summer saving grace is that the pub has a garden. Here foreigners brave enough to breach the picket line find fuck-free space. 

Sadly it is also service free and so it's back to the picket line. The other Harry wants to build a house in the garden. 
He could ask the fucking builders.