Thursday, June 26, 2014

Dave; The Conniving Careerist and Jean Claude Juncker

Jean Claude Juncker may sound like something the Germans dropped on Britain during the last war but he is actually someone they are going to drop on us tomorrow.

For those who do not know, and even less care, JC is about to be named as the next President of the Commission of the European Union. This will be despite the best efforts of David Cameron still fresh from blaming Andy Coulson for being appointed by him.
Having established his credentials as an astute selector of staff (A.Coulson, L.Fox, M.Miller, A. Mitchell, Uncle Tom Cobley etc), Dave declared JC unfit for the post.

So impressed were the leaders of every other country in Europe that they rushed to support Jean Claude in a vote. Everyone that is apart from the Prime Minister of Hungary Viktor Orban, who the men in white coats have been circling for months.
Stand by then for Dave to end his latest “best week since last week” with the election of the afore-mentioned Juncker.

Just yesterday morning the Prime Minister thought everything was going his way after Ed Miliband forgot to put his teeth in over Andy being officially named a crook. But even that faltered when M’Lud at the Old Bailey accused the PM of selling Andy down the river faster than the jury.

This led not only to today’s torrid headlines but a description of Dave in Her Majesty’s Daily Telegraph which must have made even Ed choke on his muesli.
“The Prime Minister at his worst - a shallow, amoral, conniving careerist, determined to secure high office at any cost.”

The gap above has been left to allow for cheers or jeers and to write down the name of Peter Oborne, the columnist who said it.
Anyway, the conniving careerist is heading off to Ypres tonight for a dinner with the other leaders marking the start of the World War I. Over drinks he will have one last go at persuading them to junk Junckers (apologies, if needed, to the Sun).

The anti campaign has already let it be know that Jean Claude likes to take a drink. Indeed, of him, as a friend once said of his father, “Life after death; My dad doesn’t believe in life after lunch!”

Suggestions that the craziness of the Common Market would be adversely affected by a drunk being in charge are however being ignored. After all Roy Jenkins had the job for four years as did Jaques ‘Up Yours’ Delors.

So why, psychiatrists might ask, is Dave going ahead with a certain defeat - and that brings us right back to Andy.

As Dave leaves the UK tonight, in flies the man whose views on Europe really count, Andy’s ex-employer Rupert Murdoch. He is dead against the EU, which means the Sun is dead against the EU, which means that Dave is dead if he’s not careful.

“Shallow, amoral” Dave is actually in favour of the EU but the recidivist wing of his party is not. Add in the Daily Mail - against anything with the word foreigner in it - plus a very large dollop of UKIP and the PM has his back, front and sides against the wall.

No to JC means yes to Rupert, yes to Nigel Farage, yes to Paul Dacre, yes to the opinion polls - and a nice weekend at Wimbledon.
A case of Chateau Cameron - the amoral vintage - could be on it’s way to Jean Claude.