Wednesday, November 27, 2013

Hypocrisy... It costs nothing

It was the philosopher MP Edmund Burke who said hypocrisy could afford to be magnificent in its promises, "for never intending to go beyond promise, it costs nothing." Which brings us neatly to those who followed him 250 years on, Prime Ministers Questions and Johnny Foreigner.

Hypocrisy and politics, cynics might say, have been comfortable bedfellows for many a year. But, never more so than when the vexed question of immigration raises its 
head - which it always does everywhere when times are tough. Thus, the nation awoke today to the news that Prime Minister Dave is to get tough on those unfortunate enough not to carry a British passport.

With 27m Bulgars and Hungarians already booked on buses to the UK on New Year's Day - six weeks time - the PM announced he's going to stop them. Within hours of his pledge the UK was satisfactory denounced as "Nasty" by somebody with an accent from Brussels and the stage was set for a good day.

The Daily Mail even knocked Nigella's nose problems out of the way to give the PM front page praise. And the good mood spread swiftly to the House of Commons where Tory MP's waited for their hero.

Their delight at being members of the "nasty party" once again could hardly be contained as did their pleasure at out-kipping UKIP for once.

Dave was roared to his feet and some luckless Labour MP arose to ask a question which included the words "trade unions." 

There are few words phrases outside " J.Foreigner" which can do it for the Tories but "trade unions" is one of them and the Kop End on the Government side dutifully exploded.
Not to be outdone, the massed choirs of Labour - suitably attired in red ribbons to mark Aids Day - gave voice to their tribal chants and up sprang Ed Miliband.

With immigration the hot topic of the day it was immediately obvious that this was one word that was never going to pass his lips.  Having let in 750,000 Poles to fix our taps over the last ten years, immigration is not a subject the People's Party is comfortable with.

And so its leader concentrated on a bit of Dave hypocrisy instead, the about-turn on controlling payday lenders.

The PM dutifully trumped his hypocrisy on loans with Ed's on the economy and both sat down glad to get away with it.

Speaker Bercow reminded the Tories he was another two word phrase guaranteed to get them going when he intervened asking MPs to "think of the electorate". He was roundly ignored before the Commons showed rare unanimity when other potential Johnny F's - Scotsmen after independence - were mentioned.

Meanwhile Diane Abbott raised the plight of London's tubes - and thereby entered the race to beat Boris for labour.