Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Dave and the Double D's.

When the prophet Jeremiah wrote, "hear now this, O Foolish people, and without understanding; which have eyes, and see not; which have ears, and hear not," he surely could not have known about Dave's new specs.

Had he known, then verse 5:21 might have come out differently and could not have been contrived into an introduction to today's Prime Ministers Questions.

As it was, the PM's new reading aids played quite a major part in the Wednesday political drama which preceded midweek lunch for MPs.
Only introduced last week they were brandished to frantic effect as Labour leader Ed Miliband finally grasped the inherent weakness in the Cameron corpus.
It is summed up simply by the acronym DDDD - Dave Doesn't Do Detail.

Over the past three years, PMQ fortunes have ebbed and flowed between the two leaders. Dave had it all his own way in the early days as Ed tried - and failed - to ungeek himself.
Then, Chancellor George rode to Ed's rescue last year with the Budget to die for - particularly if you were a Tory - placing Pastygate up there with the best of them.

Ed could always be relied upon to shoot himself somewhere painful if he got too far ahead, but this summer he finally got a grip. Having been robbed of Ed Ball's cataclysmic forecasts of the end of the world as we know it by an economy on the up, he and his brains trust changed tack.
They had no choice but to concentrate on something the rich and famous don't have to think about - the cost of living - and they chose as their even holier Grail, energy prices.

But, not even the Eds could not have forecast the effect on the Government of Labour's plan to freeze energy prices for 20 months. 
Having happily attacked the more dead than red Labour leader for not having any policies, getting one has just floored him.
Just one mention of it at PMQs had Dave squeezing the life out of his bifocals.
When Ed moved on to mention the cost of living, Specsavers must have been put on emergency standby.

Poor Theresa Villiers, marooned next to the PM, in a seat occupied in happier times by the Chancellor, must have prayed for a swift return to safer climes in Northern Ireland.
And even Home Secretary Theresa May, not known for her weakness of spirit, was seen urgently re-filling the Prime Ministerial water glass as Dave gasped for rescue. 

Meanwhile, further back in the bovver boy section of Tory ranks, nervous cries of support went up as he failed - once again -to come up with a convincing answer.
In times past it was the job of Chancellor George to ride to his bf's rescue but he's awol in Beijing this week selling bits of Britain off to the Chinese.

Off-stage and ominously silent, Lynton Crosby, never knowingly out-insulted, who hopefully for the PM, is working on plan B.

Meanwhile, talking of DDDD, the increasingly weird case of former chief whip Andrew "Thrasher" Mitchell also came up for comment.
Only yesterday messrs plod and co of the Midlands were accused of serious economy with the truth over Thrasher and plebgate.  
So much so that Theresa, spotting the passing bandwagon, said apologies were necessary to Thrasher, whose fondness for the cane - giving, as they say, rather than receiving - whilst at Rugby, earned him the accolade.
Regular Dave-watchers were then surprised with the speed with which the PM agreed his former favourite thug had been traduced. Was this not the same PM who, when Thrasher was accused of rude behaviour at the gates of Downing Street,dumped him. Another case for Specsavers?